Bitterness of Loss
We experience pain throughout life in a number of ways. In the end, the way in which we face disappointment may define us more than any other challenge to our faith. In theory, faith and hope are meant as God's gifts to guard against the loss of bitterness. In reality, sorrow and disillusionment can wound to the point of such loneliness and depression as to challenging our continued belief in the goodness of God.
Crushed Hope
Few human attributes are as powerful as hope. It inspires our minds to imagine and our hearts to dream. It has and continues to fuel every advancement made by mankind. From the discovery of fire to splitting the atom, humanity's remarkable achievements have been made possible by hoping our reach might exceed our grasp.
The mortar between faith and love, hope encourages us to see past challenges, strengthening us to move beyond disappointment and despair and apprehend the goal set before us. When the way is unclear, hope beckons us forward beyond certainty. A beacon in the darkness, it stands fast against disappointment and despair.
Yet scripture declares that hope is a two edged sword. On the one hand, hope along with faith and love are eternal:
"Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless. When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love" 1 Corinthians 13:8-13
"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come." Ephesians 1:17-21
These and scores of other passages reveal the promise of hope so prevalent throughout scripture. On the other hand, when such a powerful motivator is derailed or denied it can have detritus effects:
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12
"That's when I called it quits, gave up on anything that could be hoped for on this earth. What's the point of working your fingers to the bone if you hand over what you worked for to someone who never lifted a finger for it? Smoke, that's what it is. A bad business from start to finish. So what do you get from a life of hard labor? Pain and grief from dawn to dusk. Never a decent night's rest. Nothing but smoke." Ecclesiastes 9:3-5 The Message
"All I want is an answer to one prayer, a last request to be honored: Let God step on me—squash me like a bug, and be done with me for good. I'd at least have the satisfaction of not having blasphemed the Holy God, before being pressed past the limits. Where's the strength to keep my hopes up? What future do I have to keep me going? Do you think I have nerves of steel? Do you think I'm made of iron? Do you think I can pull myself up by my bootstraps? Why, I don't even have any boots!" Job 6:7-9 The Message
"A hard vision is given me: The betrayer betrayed, the plunderer plundered. Attack, Elam! Lay siege, Media! Persians, attack! Attack, Babylon! I'll put an end to all the moaning and groaning. Because of this news I'm doubled up in pain, writhing in pain like a woman having a baby, Baffled by what I hear, undone by what I see. Absolutely stunned, horror-stricken, I had hoped for a relaxed evening, but it has turned into a nightmare." Isaiah 21:1-3 The Message
Pain of Loss
From songs and prayers of praise to laments and complaints, scripture's replete with examples of the power of hope realized, as well as the anguish of dreams dashed. Such honesty from an array of Biblical authors is good news for those feeling the bitterness of disappointment.
Loss comes in many shapes and sizes, from self inflicted to betrayal. Unintentionally or not family and foes, friends and competitors, can leave our hearts bruised and bleeding. Rather than allowing humanity to suffer alone, God goes to great length to provide mercy to the foolish and loving compassion to victims:
"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8
"Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest." Psalms 126:5-6
"The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me. He sent me to preach good news to the poor, heal the heartbroken, Announce freedom to all captives, pardon all prisoners. God sent me to announce the year of his grace, a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies, and to comfort all who mourn, To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion, give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes, Messages of joy instead of news of doom, a praising heart instead of a languid spirit." Isaiah 61:1-7 The Message
These and a plethora of passages begin to paint a vivid picture of God's compassion for the brokenhearted. From the incredible fine tuning of creation making human life possible to the passion and costly atonement of Christ, God's demonstrated His love, mercy and faithfulness to mankind. Even so, billions throughout history have and continue to feel alone in their suffering.
When faced with the apparent distance and silence of God, feelings of alienation produce anger and rebellion. Many who neglect or deny rather than seek and serve their Creator and Savior are quick to blame Omnity for their troubles. Yet even faithful believers sometimes seem to fair little better. A topic often addressed in Psalms and Proverbs, the ungodly frequently prosper rather than or even at the expense of the righteous.
Fearfully and wonderfully made inside and out, humans are amazingly resilient and frail at the same time. So too our faith. When threatened by pain and loss we may respond in any number of ways. One moment in patience and forgiveness and the next in sorrow and anger. Should our troubles continue unabated or deepen our thoughts and emotions may begin to spiral downward and out of control.
Feelings of powerlessness accentuate the problem. Frustration over people and things beyond our control can turn disappointment to bitterness. Under such circumstances even friends and family may offer little solace, particularly when they're part of the problem. From misunderstandings to betrayal even those closest to us often add to rather than mitigate our experience of loss.
Sometimes it seems true that "time heals all wounds." Other times the passing of days and weeks, months and years only exacerbates the situation. Like rings troubling the surface of a pond, poor choices often set a series of unfortunate events in motion heightening our sense of sorrow.
Identifying the Cause
When dealing with the bitterness of loss a single questions takes center stage. Why? Our desire to understand takes many forms:
- Why me? What have I done to deserve this? Why are my efforts being ignored?
- Why my family? Why has this happened to those I love? Why are those I love treating me like this? Why is a lifetime of service and sacrifice being washed down the drain?
- Why my friends? Why are my friends and their families suffering? Why do my friends treat me this way? Why have those I trusted betrayed me?
- Why doesn't God act? Why does God seem so distant and silent? Why do my prayers go unanswered?
These are all valid questions in need of asking. In fact, with the unprecedented blessings and tools God's provided the modern world one would think the bonds between families, friends and fellow Christians would be impregnable. Sadly, rather than strengthening relationships, our affluence seems to be eroding the traditional values that have been the foundation of our prosperity. Instead of growing in thankfulness and obedience, the original sin of entitlement continues it's rampage among fallen angels and escalating with each new generation of men.
God, knowing every detail of the end from the beginning, is hardly surprised. Millennia ago scripture predicted this scenario:
"Don't be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They'll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they're animals. Stay clear of these people." 2 Timothy 3:1-5 The Message
Far from the only passage to paint such a poignant picture, Paul's prophetic warning to Timothy explains why so many primary relationships from parenting to marriage are in jeopardy today. Even more tragical, Paul reveals this description applies to the modern Church as well.
"Anyone who wants to live all out for Christ is in for a lot of trouble; there's no getting around it. Unscrupulous con men will continue to exploit the faith. They're as deceived as the people they lead astray. As long as they are out there, things can only get worse. But don't let it faze you. Stick with what you learned and believed, sure of the integrity of your teachers—why, you took in the sacred Scriptures with your mother's milk! There's nothing like the written Word of God for showing you the way to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us." 2 Timothy 3:12-17 The Message
While many understandably complain "why?" few seem to care enough to seek out the underlying cause of our troubles. Scripture clearly states much of humanity's pain and suffering arises from a primary source. Sin; above, about and within. While it's hard for modern society to believe, the Bible attributes the fall and continued rebellion of mankind to the temptation of an Evil One. Yet with nearly 500 verses directly and indirectly revealing the nature and cunning of our Adversary, only a third of modern Christians even acknowledge the existence such a Being.
To truly understand our problems as individuals, families and as a society we need a better grasp of the big picture. Like it or not, the Bible places the context of earthly life in the midst of a cosmic heavenly rebellion. Scripture's brief history of eternity explains that the archangel Lucifer, now Satan or the Devil, instigated an angelic insurrection that has spilled into every facet of earthly life. Identified in the New Testament as "the god of this world" scripture states Satan has "blinded the eyes of men" and "taken them captive to do his will." Through millennia of expertly employed temptation, deception and active resistance He and his host have warped human nature and skillfully shaped history.
Again, the words of the Apostle Paul are paramount when contemplating the degree of influence to attribute to spiritual malevolence. Once a puppet of the Enemy and persecutor of the faithful, He became the icon of suffering and endurance for the cause of Christ. Beaten five times to within a lash of his life by God's people the Jews, he was literally a walking scar. Even so, when calculating the effect of evil supernatural beings on fallen mankind he places the emphasis as follows:
"A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:10-12
Here as so many places elsewhere the Bible warns that the spiritual realities facing mankind are not to be dismissed as metaphors or ancient myth. As The Message puts it: "This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels." Yet how few take such admonitions seriously. Unfortunately, so long as we do we remain unprepared to grasp the full nature of the situation we, our family and friends find ourselves in.
A Fighting Chance
Pain can arise from disappointments within our own lives or empathy for those we love. Sorrow can suddenly overwhelm or grow slowly yet alarmingly as over time as grief from loss fills our lives. Rising tides of frustration threaten our hard won peace and happiness. When loss persists it's normal to become angry at being cast adrift into restless or stormy seas of loneliness and depression, financial distress, illness and even death.
When loss arrives in the life of a Christian our relationship with God is put to the test. Our faith, which scripture encourages is worth far more than gold, is tried when stressed. A well known passage in the first chapter of the Book of James makes the point nicely:
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." James 1:2-4 The Message
"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." James 1:2-4 The Living Bible
While different translations offer slight textual variations, clearly such verses are meant to comfort those in the midst of suffering. Yet far easier said than done, most find such encouragement more challenging than helpful. For many, the idea of considering the bitterness of loss "a sheer gift" is simply too difficult an assignment.
In reality what every New Testament author suggests is nothing less than a radically different worldview than is found in secular society or even Churchianity. Given the nature of the amazing and alarming spiritual battle raging throughout heaven and earth, the Bible directs believers that rather than expecting civilian happiness we are to look for soldiers joy:
"Friends, when life gets really difficult, don't jump to the conclusion that God isn't on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner." 1 Peter 4:12-13 The Message
"So, my son, throw yourself into this work for Christ. Pass on what you heard from me—the whole congregation saying Amen!— to reliable leaders who are competent to teach others. When the going gets rough, take it on the chin with the rest of us, the way Jesus did. A soldier on duty doesn't get caught up in making deals at the marketplace. He concentrates on carrying out orders. An athlete who refuses to play by the rules will never get anywhere. It's the diligent farmer who gets the produce. Think it over. God will make it all plain." 2 Timothy 2:1-7 The Message
"Now I, Paul, appeal to you with the gentleness and kindness of Christ—though I realize you think I am timid in person and bold only when I write from far away. Well, I am begging you now so that when I come I won’t have to be bold with those who think we act from human motives. We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:1-5
"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom. Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble." Matthew 5:10-12 The Message
Fighting the "good fight of faith" requires a soldiers perspective. Warned not to be "caught up in civilian affairs" scripture seeks to free Earth's POW's by enlisting fallen humanity into the Church militant. Modern theology is "me-centered" focusing on "what the Kingdom of God do for me" rather than "what we can do for the Kingdom?" While both are valid and important questions, Jesus cautions the order and emphasis are crucial. Only in denying ourselves does He promise freedom. In giving, receiving. Through humility, exaltation. By dying, eternal life.
Comfort and Joy
When asked by a crowd how men might please God Jesus replied the should embrace "the work of God." When asked to explain the nature of such work Christ replied to "believe on Him who God has sent." Such an assignment sounds easy enough until put to the test.
Anyone's who tried implementing even just the Beatitudes from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount realizes God's economy is in stark contrast to our own. "Blessed are the poor in spirit... those who mourn... the meek... those who hunger and thirst... the persecuted..." These are hardly the "blessings" most are hoping for. Yet God reveals Omnity's compassion by issuing great and precious promises such as "for theirs is the kingdom of heaven... they shall be comforted... they shall inherit the earth... they shall be filled... great shall be their reward in heaven..."
The challenge before us is apprehend such truths. To take Christ and His apostles at their word. To fully commit as Christians to allow our faith to be tired and purified, exercised and grow to the point of actually believing what we believe. That we might say with the confidence of the embattled Apostle Paul, "for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day." Or as the another version puts it:
"This is the Message I've been set apart to proclaim as preacher, emissary, and teacher. It's also the cause of all this trouble I'm in. But I have no regrets. I couldn't be more sure of my ground—the One I've trusted in can take care of what he's trusted me to do right to the end. So keep at your work, this faith and love rooted in Christ, exactly as I set it out for you. It's as sound as the day you first heard it from me. Guard this precious thing placed in your custody by the Holy Spirit who works in us." 2 Timothy 1:11-14 The Message
Through Paul's words and example the Spirit directs us to commit ourselves into the hand of our "faithful Creator" while paying the price of enduring hardships like a good soldier knowing:
"There's no comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens." Romans 8:18-21 The Message
When griped with the bitterness of loss such sentiments seem difficult if not impossible. As if anticipating our plight, as an experienced officer Paul continues encouraging the troops:
"All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." Romans 8:22-28 The Message
When it comes to the great challenges of life, Christ's message is clear. We are to invest all we have in seeking and serving the Lord through good times and bad. Immersed in His kingdom and righteousness, we are to hope in the goodness of God, enduring until the glorious end He has promised appears:
"What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met." Matthew 6:31-33 The Message
"I saw Heaven and earth new-created. Gone the first Heaven, gone the first earth, gone the sea. I saw Holy Jerusalem, new-created, descending resplendent out of Heaven, as ready for God as a bride for her husband. I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: "Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They're his people, he's their God. He'll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—all the first order of things gone." The Enthroned continued, "Look! I'm making everything new. Write it all down—each word dependable and accurate." Revelation 21:1-5 The Message
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